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We went, we shopped, we got our parking validated.
Ten years in the making, it’s no longer a Husk.
As of Tuesday’s soft opening, the East Hollywood Target is a real-life sparkling mecca reminding us of all the things we didn’t realize we needed.
It’s no longer a place you drive past and sigh, jealous of Mid-City, K-Town and all the other neighborhoods that have been blessed with new Targets.
So here’s a tour of the much-anticipated East Hollywood branch of our favorite multibillion-dollar retailer, which is currently open and ready to take your money. The real grand opening is this Sunday, but for now, you can enjoy the short lines, sparkling bathrooms and your choice of parking spots.
Because we live in L.A., the calendar might say it’s Libra Szn, but it’s really, as always, Bikini Season.
But retail being retail, it’s never too soon to start pushing the ugly Christmas sweaters.
This Target is stocked up with several artificial Christmas trees, as well as loads of ornaments and lights. But it also has this lovely display of non-white Kris Kringle tree toppers, because, hey, it’s 2020, and Black Santas matter.
Speaking of diversity, L.A. is 50% Latino, so wisely, Dia de los Muertos decorations are prominently displayed next to Halloween costumes and artificial pumpkins.
Do you know what else it has? A bounty of toilet paper and paper towels. We have truly made it through the darkness of this crazy year.
Well, mostly. Strangely, there still seems to be a bit of a shortage of disinfecting wipes. As Seinfeld would say, “What is the deal?” Are the wipe trees not bearing fruit any longer? Are they out of season? Are they more than just rubbing alcohol, fragrance and rolled up paper towels? Even at this pre-grand-opening store that has everything, one of the few aisles missing product is this one.
The other is the baseball card section, even even though Target has some exclusive deals with Topps and other trading card makers. It doesn’t matter where you go, this is typically the scene when you’re looking for some of the more recent baseball cards. They have plenty of Pokemon, Magic the Gathering and NFL cards, but rarely will you see anything new. Here they have some Allen and Ginter packs, a few sets of the basic Topps cards and some boxes of Pete Rose Leaf cards, but come back next week after the store officially opens, and all of these will be cleared out.
What other product is there that’s sold at a department store where it seems like both the manufacturer and the outlet are satisfied with empty shelves? It’s mind-boggling.
Not lacking are the sweeping, beautiful views looking out from the third-story windows. Beyond the haze, the Hollywood sign reminds you where you are. Which is across the street from a Panda Express and a Yogurtland.
Does this Target sell booze? Yes, but be careful, you may walk home with some Corona. Wear gloves (which are provided, for free, at the main entrance).
What was also provided were knowledgeable, friendly staffers, many of whom had worked at other Targets around L.A. and were happy to help open this new location. This young man not only knew pretty much everything about the TVs they sell, but sported an incredible mask that was hard not to stare at.
Finally, a word about the controversial garage. It costs money to park at Target unless you spend over $20 there. If you do actually shop, the validation will appear on the top of your paper receipt. In theory, you merely scan it at the gate, and all will be well. But on Wednesday, human intervention was needed to read the receipt.
Also of note: The store is located on the third floor. Most of the people parked on the second floor. This might seem like you’re closer to the store, but you’ll still have to use the escalator or elevator to get to those new towels or 25-cent bananas. Therefore, you might be better off parking on the ground floor for a quick and easy exit.
Only Instagram will show us for sure, but be ready for a slew of selfies next to the adorable Target dog in the shoe section.